Wednesday, August 12, 2015


Are we done with dating?  Is hanging out the way of the future?  And if so, is this a smart move for this next generation?

I remember going out on my first date.  I was so excited and felt so special.  I remember going out on my second and third date as well.  I remember the excitement, anticipation and the learning curve that goes along with interacting, communicating and getting to know someone of the opposite sex in a different setting other than school or mutual.

In the book 'Successful Marriages and Families' it states, "One of the biggest changes in the current young adult culture is the disappearance of dating.  Several studies have found that traditional dating, where the man asks the woman out on a date and pays for the evening together, is becoming rare.... Young women and men more often "hang out" rather than go on planned dates".  It goes on to say, "Most Latter-day Saint young adults know that Church leaders discourage hanging out, and we have found in our current research that the kind of endless, making-no-progress-towards-a-relationship hanging out is indeed frustrating to both men and women".

Elder M. Russell Ballard has said,  "Don’t text her! Use your own voice to introduce yourself to the righteous daughters of God who are all around you. To actually hear a human voice will shock her—perhaps into saying yes".

Dating is a good thing.  A worthwhile way get to know each other.  Asking a girl out on a date helps you to gain courage and strength.  Do not take the easy way out and text a message to hang out.  Boys, you can only gain access to manhood by taking chances and putting yourself out there.  By doing the work that needs to be done by planing a simple date, calling a girl and asking her out.  Girls, you can encourage this behavior by getting to know boys, even the ones you think you may not be interested in.  By accepting dates and by developing qualities in yourself that will be attractive to others.

When we put thought into a date it shows others we care, that we are interested in them, that we can plan an activity and are interesting enough to be with on that activity.  It is a way for young men and women to interact and find out through the experience of dating what they like in a partner, and more importantly, what they should be doing to improve themselves.

Those days of dating were some of the best experiences of my life.  I learned so much about myself and others.  It helped me realize the traits that were important in the person I wanted to marry  I dated funny, spontaneous and shy boys.  I also dated a boy who was jealous, controlling and disrespectful.  I learned very fast that was not the kind of person I wanted to marry.  Because of that boy I knew when I met my now husband who is very kind, easy going and extremely respectful to those around him, that he would make me happy for a very long time.

So maybe all of your dates won't be fantastic.  But they will always teach you something.

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